more...more..more..

i cant seem to stop typing..........i wish i could just go smoke a joint.....right this second....my friend....my BEST friend and i were talking and he says he thinks i should stop smoking hash......i brought the subject up....well in so many words........i said to him that if i didnt have a joint by a certain time of the day then my head became really sore....like BOOMING sore, and then he told me.....i dont think he is right but at the same time because of what happend with our other close friend and the whole thing with drugs.........i am totaly coming down from my high and my head is slightly sore.......i live to be high....but i love my friends more............and i have SO many things to say and all i am doing is typing!!

people ma'

people..people....people... people, well "people" is a very open subject, people you like, people you hate, people you love and people you will never meet.......Hers is my thoughts....i love my friends to death........even though things have been tough lately....whether its because of drugs, illnesses or sex. One of my "best" friends has turned her back.......she will never be able to return to who she was.....who we all loved, and who was such an open soul and spirit, on the other hand....someone who i am sooo close to right now is going through something SO terrible thats ripping her family apart (slightly dramatic) but it is a serious thing thats going on.and then theres the sex thing......my two closest friends are together, its great i love them to bits.....but, sometimes i feel like there kid........the way my and my friends have always been is....well its like we are a family that gets on with each other so amazingly......but now i just feel like they are babysitting me, i dont really have a big enough group of friends that we can all hang out seperatly......but i just feel like a third wheel like 95.99% of the time.......i dont think anyone f my friends will EVER see any of my blogs because.......well no one knows i have it........

mute

i feel mute, i feel dead.....like nothing in the world is real. i feel like i am floating..............just hovering above the sofa next to the laptop.......i am slightly stoned.